How many times i heard "my partner does not understands me" as if there were things to be understood! Or as if the person complaining has really understood him/her self or at least tried to understand their partner
That is one of the main reasons for the breakdown any relationship and it so fake!Understanding?!
dDd our parents understand us? Do we understand our kids? Do we ever try to put ourselves in other pepole's shoes?
Of course there are a lot of misunderstandings between all of us. Why is that? The simple answer is that we like to blame others when they hurt us; as if it is not us who gives them reasons and the means to make it easy for them to hurt us.
It begins from the first step in any relationship: each is hoping for something from this relationship and hiding it, waiting for the other to disclose his/ her "papers" and from that moment on the relationship changes into a game and each wants to win whilst sustaining the least damages.
That is one of the main misunderstandings: we are so vunerable and pretend to be tough and experienced
raouf
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
On men and women and a lot of misunderstanding -2
Friday, July 6, 2007
On men and women and a lot of misunderstanding
When I watch National Geographic films I feel always thrilled by the 'honesty' of all the living species, except for human beings who are confused in their most important activity which is their relationship with the other sex.
All the living creatures live strictly as nature has provided them with its eternal code. They function according to their 'position' in life, following - without grumbling - their 'duties'; they live and perish according to the code.
But not human beings; they have no code: they are cheaters, unfaithful, liars, vindictive and the only species who hurt and kill their own sort!
And on the issue of relations between the male and female we find that it is the most hurtful and painful issue; sometimes it leads to killing, murder and suicide!
The simple answer is: human beings do not have a code of behaviour concerning 'the other'; we have only selfish, ruthless needs and desires.
The funny thing is we never state our needs and desires openly to the concerned party or partner; rather we mask and hide them under smiles, pretending we have completely different interests.
Usually in such relations one of the partners is less wicked, less experienced, more honest, and less corrupted than the other. So this partner finds him or herself time and again being left hurt, and deserted without any logical explanation or even a reasonable lie!
Why are we doing this to each other?
It is the old primitive instinct of the hunter: moving stealthily, hidden, to get something (or somebody) in a dishonest way... the mere pleasure of getting what does not belong to you.
The invention of prostitution was - and still is – one of the rare human paradoxes; there is no hiding of intention, no masking of desires, no need to pretend; the costumer comes, takes what he wants, pays, and leaves. What a fantastic solution for all the lies and hurt. But it is MEN ONLY CLUB, created by men to behave exactly and honestly as they feel: practising fetishism, sadomasochism, and all their hidden unfulfilled fantasies; all the things they pretend they do not desire when they sit down to discuss, with their sweethearts, the future of the earth!
to be continued)
Saturday, June 23, 2007
There are only lovers and the enemies of love
On finishing watching Jules et Jim. Encore
There is too much to say now, and so I will try write only part of two conversations I remember:
"Albert was wounded in the trenches...
l'm OK now but when l woke up and found a surgeon digging in my skull, l thought of Oscar Wilde: God, spare me physical pain! l can cope with moral suffering!
The disgusting part of war is it deprives a man of his own individual battle."
----------------
"Are you in pain?
Not me, not anymore.
Because we mustn't suffer not at the same time. Once you stop suffering, l'll suffer"